Small Miracles

( tw: self harm)


Write something new because you are not feeling desperate. You are not gasping on the edge of sleep, and your eyes are not full of tears, and your limbs feel real and present.

Write it down in purple ink that you found in your back pocket-
I am alive, and I am happy, and I am loved and I am breathing and in this moment everything is okay. I will keep having days like this. There is no need for matches or wine or razor blades. I am worthy of a name.

Write yourself a record because I know, god I know it is hard. You have had so many pale airless days, and worse were the nights when you screamed in the dark, but you are still here, and I am grateful. I am grateful for out time spent in the sun and on your kitchen floor and together from far away. You have screamed because it was all too much, but I was there when you couldn't hold your breath in the space that joy was stealing. I was there when you walked on water, and I was there when you made mashed potatoes. Thank god for small miracles, but more importantly, thank yourself.

Lovely, take your purple ink and remind yourself that today you are happy- because I am proud of every step you took to reach that smile.